traditions

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#006699" TEXT="#080000" background="04d0f6b3.jpg"> <bR> <bR> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=179 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <bR> <div> <A HREF="planning___directory_of_services.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Planning Directory of Services">Planning & Directory of Services</A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Buy Sell Exchange">Buy Sell & Exchange</A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Reference Books">Reference Books</A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id12.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About Us">Contact us</A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id14.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Questions Can you help">Noticeboard</A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id90.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Plan It Perfect">Dunedin's Wedding Planner</A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=390 width="100%" BGCOLOR="#999966" TEXT="#080000"> <div>  <A NAME="wedding_day_traditions___what_do_they"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#003300" FACE="Arial Narrow" >Wedding day traditions and formalities</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Wedding traditions have been evolving for centuries and very few of them can actually be pinpointed to their original origin - the list below is just a collection of some ways these traditional beliefs and ideas have evolved.  These may or may not be correct but are fun to follow.</div> <bR> <div> <B>The Wedding Ring</B></div> <div> The round shape of the wedding ring symbolises your never-ending love for each other.  In the old days, the wedding ring protected the bride against bad spirits.   Dropping the ring during the ceremony is unlucky. </div> <div> The original rings were made of rushes, hemp, or braided grass, which had to be replaced every year.</div> <div> The Romans used iron to symbolise the permanence of marriage. Gold has always been a popular symbolises lasting beauty, purity and strength.  Gold rings were used in ancient Egypt as currency and a symbol of the grooms wealth - to show that he trusted his new wife with his money, the Egyptian husband would place a gold ring on the third finger of her left hand . </div> <bR> <div> It was believed there was a vein in the third finger of the left hand that ran directly to the heart. When the ring was placed on that finger a strong connection of a heartfelt love and commitment to one another was made.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Veils</B> have several origins.  Veils were worn during the dark ages so that evil spirits could not see the bride's face.  This protected her identity so that nothing bad could happen to her.  </div> <bR> <div> <B>Why Does the Bride Wear White?</B></div> <div> White has been a symbol of many celebrations for thousands of  years.   In Victorian times, the early 19th-century,  white was a sign of wealth. At the beginning of the 20th century, white became a symbol associated with purity. Today, the color white once again symbolizes joy on the wedding day; women who are remarrying may choose among many shades of white–from bright white to ecru to champagne.  Queen Victoria was the first bride in modern history, to be married in white. White is the sign of purity and innocence. It is also a colour in the bible that describes joy and celebration. The bride's veil is said to also symbolise her youth and virginity. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Engagement rings</B>, especially diamond engagement rings, is said to have evolved after the King of Egypt gave his betrothed (fiancee) his symbol of love. The ring, a perfect circle, having no beginning and no end made of gold, believed to hold mystical powers. The diamond, the hardest element on earth, showed that his love would always be forever. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Showers</B> came about when the men would prove their love by bringing gifts to the bride's father. Livestock, food, land, were great ways to "pay" for a bride. Eventually, this little ritual, turned into men giving gifts of enticement to the daughter to show he was a man of good intentions. Showers are friends giving the bride (and sometimes the groom) gifts to start their new lives together. They “shower them with gifts and happiness. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Bride carries a Handkerchief?</B></div> <div> This is considered to be a good omen.  Early farmers thought a bride's wedding-day tears were lucky and brought rain for their crops. It was also believed that a bride who cried at her wedding would never shed another tear about her marriage.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Something Old and Something New?</B></div> <div> The symbolism: continuity, optimism for the future, borrowed happiness, fidelity, and good fortune. </div> <div> This custom stems from an old English rhyme, "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in her shoe. . ."    Brides throughout the decades have taken care to include these touches in their bridal outfit, a nod to tradition and superstition. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Coin in Your Shoe?</B></div> <div> Coins  were given to young ladies as love tokens. A gentleman burnished the reverse side of the coin, then engraved the initials for his beloved. In Sweden, the bride's father places a piece of silver in her left shoe; her mother, a piece of gold in her right, so that she may never lack in luxuries. Royal brides traditionally have a tiny silver horseshoe sewn in the hem of their gown for good luck.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Ceremony ends with a Kiss?</B></div> <div> From the days of ancient Rome, the kiss was a legal bond that sealed contracts.  It was also believed that when a couple kissed, part of each of their souls was left behind in the other when their breath was exchanged. Occurring at the end of the rites, the kiss announces a new status.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Bouquets</B> were used in Medieval times. They consisted of herbs and roots to ward off evil spirits. Later, brides added lots of fragrant flowers to cover up body odors since soap and deodorant were non-existent. In the past it was said that single ladies would traditionally tear off a bit of the brides dress to bring them good luck.   The tradition was changed for obvious reasons to the throwing of the bouquet and the single lady who catches it is believed to be the next to get married.   For centuries, flowers have stood for a variety of emotions and values (see flowers meaning on the florist page).  Roses for love, lilies for virtue and so on. In ancient marriages, the bride carried herbs beneath their veils to symbolize fidelity. Greek brides carried ivy as a symbol of never-ending love. Orange blossoms, (the world renowned wedding flower) were chosen by the Spaniards to represent happiness and fulfillment, because the orange tree flowers and bears fruit at the same time.  </div> <bR> <div> <B>Bridesmaids</B> were used to confuse evil spirits. It was thought that if the bride was surrounded by women dressed alike, evil spirits could not find the bride and would leave the ceremony.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Groomsmen</B> were used during the time when men would kidnap their brides. The best warriors came with the groom to fight off anyone trying to save the female from being taking from her tribe.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Honeymoons</B> were usually one month long. The groom, having kidnapped his bride, would hide her from everyone for one month (or one moon cycle).</div> <bR> <div> <B>Carrying over the threshold</B></div> <div> It was believed that those ever present evil spirits hang around the entranceway of he newlyweds home.  Carrying the bride over the threshold ensured none would enter her through her feet.  Another belief was that in ancient times it was a case of  ``Marriage by Capture," and because the bride was not going to go peacefully into the bridegroom's abode, she was dragged or carried across the threshold.  </div> <bR> <div> <B>Throwing rice or wheat</B></div> <div> Symbol of fertility, prosperity, bounty.  It has been replaced with all sorts of confetti, rose petals, bubbles, etc.  </div> <bR> <div> <B>Giving the Bride Away?</B></div> <div> In the ancient times, the bride was literally given away to the groom by the father, usually in exchange for money. Today, the 'giving the bride away' tradition is more symbolic of the blessings and support of her union. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Why a Wedding Cake?</B></div> <div> Since early Roman times, the cake has played a special part of the wedding celebration.  A thin loaf was broken over the bride's head at the close of the ceremony to symbolize fertility.  The wheat from which it was made, symbolised fertility and the guests eagerly picked up the crumbs as good luck charms.  In the Middle Ages, it was traditional for the couple to kiss over a small cluster of cakes.  </div> <bR> <bR> <div> Wedding day formalities</div> <bR> <div> Remember, the style of your wedding should be what you both want and what you both feel most comfortable with.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Bridal Party</B></div> <bR> <div> Soon after your engagement you will need to choose your bridal party.  You need two people to be legal witness of your wedding, usually the chief bridesmaid and best man.  The size of your bridal party is up to you but remember the place you choose to marry might not be practical for large groups and there is also the extra cost.   Usually the best man is a close friend or brother of the groom and the chief bridesmaid a close friend or sister of the bride.</div> <bR> <div> The traditional 'line up' of the bridal party is the bride stands to the left of the groom.  Her bridesmaid flow to her left and the groomsmen flow to the right of the groom.  </div> <bR> <div> <B>The Chief Bridesmaid or Matron of Honour</B></div> <bR> <div> This person is the brides companion.  She is the one who should help keep the bride calm on the day, attend to her veil and dress and make sure the bride looks great.  She also gets involved with the other bridesmaids in organising the bridal shower or "hens night" prior to the wedding.  She can also assist the bride in preparation for her wedding.</div> <bR> <div> The bride is traditionally escorted down the aisle on the arm of her father, or appropriate substitute.  Normally the chief bridesmaid follows the bride, then the other bridesmaids, flower girls etc.  Alternatively, the bridal party can precede the bride.  Leave a good interval between groups moving so that the bride's entry is not obscured, especially for the photographer and the groom.</div> <bR> <div> The chief bridesmaid usually takes the bouquet at the right moment from the bride and is one of the two witnesses to sign the register.  When the ceremony is over the bridal party walk down the aisle or path with the bride and groom in the front followed by the chief bridesmaid and best man, along with others.</div> <bR> <div> <B>The best man</B></div> <bR> <div> The best man is the companion to the bridegroom.  He is to make sure that the groom gets to the ceremony on time, and in good condition.   The best man also has the responsibility of holding the rings, ready to hand to the celebrant at the right time during the ceremony.  He is also one of two witnesses to sign the register.  </div> <bR> <div> The best man can also make things easier by taking on responsibilities such as organising the transport, paying the fees to the celebrant, organist, church etc on the day (money given to him in advance).  At the reception the best man reads the telegrams and congratulations.  The other groomsmen can share this task.  The best man is usually asked to speak about the groom and to toast the beautiful bridesmaids.  He is also in charge with the other groomsmen of organising the stag night and ensuring that the groom is well looked after.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Gifts for your attendants</B></div> <bR> <div> It is customary to give both the best man and the chief bridesmaid a special gift in appreciation for the help and support during your wedding.  </div> <bR> <div> <B>Wedding gifts</B></div> <bR> <div> Most people invited to a wedding give gifts.  It is a good idea to draw up a wish list and give it to the mother in law or mother of the bride to advise guests.  This saves getting five toasters.  Put down things that you need or would like to receive.  People can say that they would like to get a particular item yet still retain the freedom to choose the style, quality and brand.  Recording the gifts you received and acknowledgements is also very important.  It is a good idea if your bridesmaid write the gift item on the card so that you can then associate the people with the gift easily.</div> <bR> <div> On the wedding day it is customary to display the gifts.  </div> <bR> <div> <B>Who pays - and what do they pay for?</B></div> <bR> <div> Weddings are an expensive occasion and they can cost a lot of money especially if you choose to use professionals.  Traditionally, the bride's parents, pay for the reception, flowers, photographer and wedding stationery.   These days it is more common for both families including the couple to share in the cost and each decide on what they would like to pay for and can afford.  It is also great if you can draw on friends and families hidden talents or assetts such as their vintage cars, etc.</div> <bR> <div> The bridegroom traditionally is responsible for paying for the church, organist, marriage celebrant, bouquets for the bride and attendants, corsages and suit hire.   The bridesmaids dresses and shoes, etc is usually their own responsibility but sometimes the bride would pay something towards the cost as would the groom towards the cost of suit hire for the groomsmen.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Traditions</B></div> <bR> <div> It is traditional for the bride and groom not to see each other on the day of the wedding until the ceremony.</div> <div> Church weddings, relatives are provided with seats at the front, and the brides family sit on the left and grooms family on the right hand side.</div> <div> Check that throwing confetti is acceptable at the location.  </div> <div> Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Marriage Ceremony</B></div> <bR> <div> Marriage is a celebration of a relationship.  Just about everything goes!  Whatever is said at the ceremony should be something that makes sense to you, is meaningful and appropriate to your own beliefs and feelings.</div> <bR> <div> Many couples choose to write their own special words to each other. whilst others just go along with the traditional verses. </div> <bR> <div> <B>The reception</B></div> <bR> <div> This is a time to eat, drink and be merry and relax in celebration of the marriage.  The reception could be fully catered in a restaurant or hotel or can be a family barbeque at the local hall.   </div> <bR> <div> <B>The toastmaster or MC </B></div> <bR> <div> They usually announce the arrival and entrance of the newly married couple to the reception.  Once seated then they propose a toast to the bride and groom and could include a short speech to the couple, usually humorous but also expressing good wishes on behalf of the guests.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="id56_m.htm" TITLE="traditions"><B>back to top of page</B></A></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="506" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=CENTER HEIGHT= 20 WIDTH="502"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="20" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="502" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>